Touring the family nursery

J and I have been in Kelowna for almost a week - we came up specifically for a family reunion. Our family business is 100 this year and we had a party to celebrate. My great-grandfather started the business and our family has grown from him and his brother to a five-generation super-family! My great-grandparents are the first generation. They had four kids. Their four kids gave them 20 grandchildren. Those 20 grandchildren produced 44 great-grandchildren (that's my generation) and my generation is just getting started, but there are 13 great-great-grandchildren.

So our little celebration was kind of not so little. There are lots of pictures in this post and I've broken it into two parts...

We started our day of celebration with a tour of the nursery part of the family business. It's the original part and the reason we're celebrating...

Apparently we all passed the first test - we didn't pose any biological threat to the trees so they let us in to play for a few hours.

We started our tour by this truck, loaded and ready to go. It had something like 94 trees that weighed 750lbs each.

The whole gang, ready to go...

We got to go on a little hayride around the property. This particular trailer is for the over 50 and under 5 crowd (because it has a canopy) but parents and helpers of the under five crowd were invited too. I was happy. It was hot.

Less than 15 minutes after we arrived my kid was already covered in muck. It was super dusty and I'm sure it was sticking to the sun screen. And she's almost three.

J was thrilled to have a chance to "drive" the tractor. We all know how much she loves machines!

J and P found a peach tree so my Auntie Jenny helped them pick peaches.

Very happy with the fruits of their labour...ugh...I should steer clear of puns. The peaches were so good though. We all had an impromptu snack in the middle of the tour.

This tree, creatively named the big tree, is important to the family.

It's where my great-grandfather (founder of the nursery) and my great-grandmother's ashes are scattered.

After walking through the life of a tree from seed to plug to big tree (I think this one is six years old) we got to see the tree spade at work.

There is a spectacular view from the nursery, although I miss the old bridge...

My dad, my mom, Kelsey, me (no Rebecca...boo. Alex and J were off somewhere doing something...eating peaches maybe?)

J loved this truck and wanted to be with the trees lots. Behind her you can see the super powerful sprinkler. It pumps water at some huge per second rate...not a sprinkler you'd probably want to play in!

The next generation - my mom and her four sister who are the current owner/operators of the business.

After the tour, everyone went home to wash the dust off before a super fun evening. But that's for another post!

What the doctor said...

I know I said I'd post this yesterday. I planned to do it when I got home last night after a visit with a friend, but I came home to find a toddler who had a cough and wasn't sleeping...

Last Friday morning after I dropped J at daycare, I turned the car around and headed practically home (we live only a few blocks from the hospital) for my scariest appointment yet...the one with the neurologist at the stroke prevention clinic.

Results from that appointment? More of the same...your tests are normal, we're not sure what's going on, let's do more tests. The neurologist was a bit concerned that my blood pressure was up, but let's be realistic here, the nurse took my blood pressure moments after I was given a brochure about TIAs because most likely that's what I had (um, to clarify, not likely). That freaked me out. A lot. I was at the appointment alone because I wasn't too concerned about it...but at that moment I could feel my blood pressure climbing and the tears building and I wished I had someone, anyone, in the room with me. The nurse asked if I was feeling anxious and told me not to worry about my blood pressure because it was probably high because of the anxiety, but the doctor, he was a little concerned. So along with the tests, I will be visiting my family doctor for weekly blood pressure monitoring sessions.

What's next? Well, an early morning MRI which will determine pretty much all the next steps and a visit with a dietitian. For now I just need to keep going with life...and avoid grapefruit.

I think I can handle that!

Sharing dinner duty...

Um, I'm a bit late posting this (well, posting anything, really), so I'll start with the one line recap of the doctor's appointment: It was fine and I am fine. More about that tomorrow.

J and I are on holiday with my parents right now, so we're sharing dinner duty - tonight was a group effort with all three of us contributing.



We're pretty much cooking on the BBQ this week and we're sort of playing meals by ear, but here's the meat of it (ha. bad pun. must be bed time!)

Monday: Salmon with veggies and grilled sweet potato

Tuesday: Chicken with a basil, peach and blueberry glaze (YUM! Dad rocks!), potatoes, beans, broccoli, carrots (all the produce from the family garden except the basil which was from my parents garden and the BC blueberries from another part of the province)

Wednesday: Leftovers

Thursday: More leftovers

Friday: Birthday burgers and dogs with salad and cake

Saturday: BBQ at my aunt and uncle's

Sunday: Birthday burgers and dogs at Alex's parents' (yes, that's two birthday celebrations for little miss...)

Looking for more ideas (maybe something not BBQ'd???)? Visit I'm an Organizing Junkie for a whole bunch of menu ideas!

The waiting game

Really, there are a million things I should be doing right now. Sleeping is at the top of that list and blogging isn't even on the list...but, well, I seem to be blogging, not sleeping.

Tomorrow is my first appointment with the neurologist. Maybe I'll get some answers. Maybe I won't. We'll see.

So instead of sleeping I've been baking. Blueberry banana bread, blueberry muffins and yummy cinnamon swirl bread. It was supposed to be for tomorrow, but I had to sample it, you know?

I also roasted some garlic and when it's a decent hour tomorrow I'll make a quick batch of hummus. We're picnicking tomorrow, so it's picnic food time...

And instead of doing laundry (our laundry baskets threw up all over our room) I unhooked the washer and dryer in anticipation of the arrival of the new machines. I also crammed our dirty laundry into black garbage bags so that I can do some serious laundry over the weekend. It's been two weeks since I've done laundry and I'm starting to notice it...

Anyway, it thought I'd share a few things that I've learned over the past few weeks. I don't have any answers yet, but I've learned a few things for sure!

Stuff I've learned about me:

• When I'm feeling stress (which I apparently am tonight) I head to the kitchen. Like I did tonight. Who bakes that much on a warmish summer night? When there are a million other things to do? When they should be resting up for the big appointment the next day? Me apparently.
• That I might have to take medication for the rest of my life. And if I do, I'm never going to taste a grapefruit again. Guess what I've been craving for the last two weeks...

Stuff I've learning about my "condition" (I'm not sure what to call it - it's not an illness or a disease or an injury, so I'm going with condition):

• My family doctor is very optimistic everything will be pretty well normal.
• My doctor warned me to be prepared for the possibility that they won't have any answers for me for a while or possibly ever. And that is such a frustrating possibility for me. I'd like to know how to prevent further episodes of the "condition"
• That regardless of the test results, I'm still probably going to have to take daily medication forever (see above) and that isn't making me very happy right now...

Stuff I've learned about my community:

• It's a lot bigger than I thought it was. This shouldn't really surprised me since they same thing happened when I injured my back - thanks guys....your visits, phone calls, emails, texts, blog comments and Facebook notes have all made the past two weeks so much more bearable.

Stuff I've learned about J:

• Toddlers are infinity more adaptable than I ever gave little miss credit for. She spent every evening last week sitting quietly on my bed playing or reading so that I could rest. Occasionally she'd pause and rub my temple and tell me "It will be okay Mommy." That alone is enough to make me feel better. She enjoyed this week and its usual trips to the park after dinner a lot more than last week!

Stuff I've learned about the hospital:

• It's unnerving to be the youngest patient at the heart clinic by a good twenty years. And that woman, the one who was about 20 years older than me? She appeared to be accompanying her mother to the clinic.
• The hospital is huge. It's very important to know which building and floor you're going to or you'll get hopelessly lost.
• Some areas of the hospital smell better than others.
• The hospital I've been frequenting is a teaching hospital. That means telling the same story two or three times before actually seeing the doctor. Or having the same ultrasound two or three times. But it's all good. At this point I'm still rational and patient enough to realize this is how doctors are made...
• Parking at the hospital coasts a small fortune. The best place to park is on the lowest or second lowest level. Because no one wants to park so "far" away. So there are lots of spaces - and lots that don't have concrete posts next to them.
• Always carry a book. And a binder. The book is because you'll always have to do some waiting. Even when your appointment is on time. The binder is for all the information you need to tell each and every doctor, specialist, technician and nurse you see and to add the new information to when they give it to you. Because you will forget. Before you stand up from your chair and leave the room. I promise.

Stuff I've learned about my job:

• It's important to know your company policies for sick leave and doctors' appointments (if there is one).
• It's important to figure out if your best bet is sick leave, sick days, appointment leave or vacation. I've done a combination of sick days, vacation and appointment leave but somewhere else I might have done it differently.
• I highly recommend talking to your supervisor, their supervisor and your HR rep (if you have one) as soon as possible, giving them as many details as you possibly can (if you're comfortable sharing). They will be more willing to help you out if they know what's going on.
• If you don't know your rights surrounding sick leave, find out. Quick. I know my rights having done this twice before and I happen to have an employer with good policies, so I'm not worried...I have also done this before with the same company, so the process was a lot easier this time around. And I'm not on sick leave right now so that helps.
• It's just a job. That I like. And want to keep. But there are things that are more important in my life than my job. I didn't actually learn that this week, it was just reinforced in the most forceful way possible!

Now I'm off to bed so I can rock my appointment tomorrow and try to convince the doctors I don't need that daily medication....

We need to eat

And I did do our planning on Sunday and Monday, I just didn't get it uploaded...because I'm slow. And preoccupied. And stuff.



Monday: Cashew Chicken with added celery and broccoli

Tuesday: Pancakes for dinner

Wednesday: Salmon and new potatoes

Thursday: Quesadillas

Friday: Travel food, or if we're incredibly lucky, dinner at my parents'

Saturday: Hugemungous family celebration dinner

Sunday: Steak or burgers...

More ideas from people who posted promptly at I'm an Organizing Junkie....

Love Letter to London

Dear London,

You were my home for almost two years. I loved taking my A-Z and getting off the tube and just wandering aimlessly. I loved the London atmosphere. I loved the safe feeling I had, pretty much everywhere I went. I loved that the three times I've been back to visit since I moved home ten years ago, I felt at home the moment I stepped out of the underground and onto the cobbles.

I have some good friends in London still. I heard from one on Sunday and she expressed sorrow over the riots on Saturday night. Little did either of us expect that today would mark the third day of rioting...dear London, can you please keep my friends safe. And the other 7,820,293 people who live in London who are not rioting. And the police officers and paramedics and fire fighters and other emergency personnel. And maybe in all your London-ness you can convince the rioters to stop. Vancouver had its own riot in June. Its origins were suspect, but it only lasted one frightening, disgusting evening.

So dear London, I hope for you and your inhabitants that tonight is the last night of this disruptive, horrifying unrest. I hope that you keep those people safe, that they again feel the same security on your street I felt ten years ago. I will be back to visit you and perpetuate my crush on you in the (hopefully) near future...so stay safe and rioters, go home...please. Just go home.

xo

Frunder

So, J knows what thunder is, but fireworks? They're a bit confusing. She's been switching between calling them fireworks and calling them frunder. Last Saturday night, after all the chaos and craziness, she woke up screaming when they started. I had been in bed since 8:30 and I was confused too. We had all forgotten about the Celebration of Light. Ooops. I got into bed with J and we both went back to sleep...

On Wednesday we had talked about frunder for four days. I didn't tell her there were going to be fireworks because I was hoping by 10:00 on Wednesday, she'd be asleep. Which she probably would have been, except, oh, they started firing test/warning fireworks at 9:15...so she refused to settle. When they started, I took her into our room, where, if you really crane your neck, you can see the tops of the really high ones just over the roof of the building across the street.

She loved them. She wasn't scared of them anymore. She kept saying oooooooooooh and clapping her hands. And she went to sleep as soon as it was over.

So, last night, knowing that she wasn't going to sleep, we just decided to take her to see them. Off we went to Granville Island at 9:30 with a huge kid in a stroller in her pjs. We were hoping she'd fall asleep on the way home...yeah right. But it was a fun night and she slept in until 10:00 this morning. Lucky me!

Sleeping in was lovely...but I'm not sure what it's going to mean for nap time or bedtime tonight!

So that's what it feels like...

Something happened to my head in the last twenty minutes or so. The leftover bits of my headache? They seem to be gone...I'd forgotten what a normal head felt like! I don't think I've taken any painkillers since Friday or Saturday, mostly because it was more of a niggling pain that was annoying than a pain that stopping me from doing stuff.

Except that now I realize it was stopping me. Yesterday I was sooooo looking forward to my yoga class, but I didn't go. Because my head was a bit sore. And it felt like my brain was rattling around in my skull and I figured that headache+downward dog=bigger headache. And let's just not go there. I probably would have been fine, but if the headache had grown, well, I might just swear off exercise. Which is a bad plan. I need to keep exercising, regardless of what's been happening with my head, it's just a matter of figuring out what works - maybe it's less intense exercise, maybe it's a different kind of exercise, maybe it's a different time of day...but that little, niggling headache was holding me back from even trying to do yoga.

And then, all of a sudden this morning, I was sitting at my desk and I realized, hey, the niggling is gone.

Small victory? Maybe. But these days I'm celebrating any and every victory, I don't care how small!

Maybe tonight I'll try a little yoga at home, just to see how it goes....

And then there is this

Let's start with a disclaimer. I am fine. I will be fine. Things are a bit upside down right now, but I'm fine.

Last Monday I freaked myself, and everyone around me, out by taking a little ride to the hospital in an ambulance after suffering what the doctors referred to as a thunderclap headache while exercising. If you click on that link and visit Wikipedia there is some scary stuff there. So, I did NOT have a subarachnoid hemorrhage. Just to clarify.

The doctor immediately hooked me up to an IV, started some drugs to help with the headache, and ordered some blood work and a CT scan. I've never had a CT scan that fast in my life, even when my back did its thing.

The CT scan was normal. So the next step was a lumbar puncture. Don't click on that link if you don't like needles. There are some very vivid descriptions and images.

The lumbar puncture was normal. The blood work? Yup, you guessed it. Normal.

That's when, six hours after arriving, I was sent home, given some painkillers, told that I might want to stay home the next day because one of the side effects of the lumbar puncture was a rebound headache, but that I could go right back to my normal life, exercise and all. At that point I asked when I should follow up with my family doctor. Apparently since everything was normal, I didn't have to. Ummm...this headache? NOT normal. I didn't worry too much about it, I just wanted to get home, profusely thank my sister and get into my own bed. Besides, I had to go in to see my doctor this week anyway, so I'd bring it up then.

Tuesday I was groggy. Alex was home because of his craptastic hours, so we took J to daycare and I spent a toddler-free day on the couch and Alex tried to catch up on some sleep. Wednesday I was back at work. Not particularly productive, but back at work. Thursday I went out with my trainer again. I wasn't feeling entirely myself so we decided to go a bit more gentle and less strenuous. We did a 10 minute warm up walk and then 3 [very slow] step-ups into the first side of the first set of step-ups, it happened again.

And the ambulance came to the seawall again.

And I went to the Emergency Room again.

And ugh.

Once again I was hooked up to an IV. A well meaning nurse suggested I might want to eat before I work out (I had) and keep myself hydrated (I was). Eventually I was given some more headache drugs and a second CT was ordered. This time I had a contrast CT done.

Lots of nothing happened for a long time. The people by my bed changed a few times. My mom arrived and made a big long list of questions for me to ask the doctor. My amazing sister picked J up from daycare. My mom headed over to our place to look after J so my sister could go to work. Alex and I twiddled our thumbs. A lot.

Before my mom left, we sent Alex off to eat something because we had no idea how long we'd be in the hospital. After talking to the doctor, who was very vague, we overheard her talking at the nurses station. I heard words I recognized because I had looked up subarachnoid hemorrhage. Scary words.

Then a neurologist came and did a full neurology exam. I remembered which was left and which was right (yay me!), I touched my finger to my nose a million times, I correctly identified that we were in the hospital and it was likely close to four o'clock in the afternoon.

And then I was visited by a team of neurologists. I think there were four of them.

Basically one of my CT scans showed a spot that concerned them. Likely an old bleed. Likely an old stroke. They don't know how old. My blood work and lumbar puncture weren't 100% okay, but high enough not to worry. Except for this spot. Because of the spot the not quite 100% normal was not normal enough. Only 100 would do in that. Oh, and my blood pressure is elevated. And it shouldn't be because I'm not old enough.

So.

After nine hours in the Emergency Room, I was assigned to the stroke team at the hospital and will be attending the stroke prevention clinic. I don't really know what that means. I've been put on high blood pressure medication. Possibly for the rest of my life. Possibly not. It depends on what's causing it. I've been in for a bunch of outpatient tests and have more coming up. They don't know how old the [possible] stroke is. That's why there's more tests. They don't know why it happened. They don't know why I've had two of these headaches. I can safely return to my "old" life and continue to do any and all activities I was doing before. I can even conceive a baby (why they would think this was a smart idea is beyond me...). Don't worry. I'm not going to. That's insanity. Oh, and I was to take three or four days off from exercising but I can safely go back to that now and I can continue to train with my trainer.

What we do know:

• *if* it was a stroke, it was a while ago
• *if* I had a stroke, no one, including me, was aware that I had one
• two weeks of tests is a lot
• I was fine up until a week ago. There is no reason why I'm not still fine (except for the weird headache thing)
• I know Alex's cell and work numbers, both my sisters' numbers, my aunt and uncle's number and Fiona's number off by heart. Just in case.
• there are a lot of ifs and unknowns

And because you probably have some questions, here are answers to the most frequently asked questions people have had for me...so far. (feel free to ask away in the comments)

Are you scared?
For sure. But I'm only scared because I have no idea what's going on. I'm not scared that something horrible is going to happen in the next little while [I might be scared that my life insurance premiums are going to be disgusting after this though]

How do you feel?
I feel drained and tired. My body has been through a lot with the headaches and the headache drugs. I'm getting myself to bed earlier and that's helping.

Why did this happen to someone as young as you?
No idea.

How are J and Alex?
They're good. J is a bit confused and knows something is up. We've told her Mommy is a little bit sick but getting better. She isn't so sure about all the doctors visits. We've kept her routine as close to normal as possible. Alex is good too...he's had a few moments where his imagination has gotten ahead of reality and that was scary for him, but he's good.

What are you going to do now?
Live life. Until Monday there was nothing wrong with me. My body is in a bit of shock from the two headaches and I think there's a bit of shell shock there too, but apart from that, there's nothing more wrong with me today than there was eight days ago. So I'm making a concentrated effort to stay hydrated, have at least one cup of coffee (doctor recommended so I don't go into caffeine withdrawal), eat well and rest. I'm going to work. I'm driving. I'm keeping up with my other plans.

I have had about half the tests they've ordered and I'm hoping they'll schedule the last ones for this week so I can go away with J as planned on the weekend. But if not, we'll reschedule our trip. I see my family doctor, who happens to have an interest in hypertension and cardiovascular health, on Thursday, so I might have some more answers by then.

Right now I feel like I belong in an episode of House. If Gregory House was my doctor, I might possibly have some answers (although, his team might have tried to kill me first, so maybe I'm okay with him being imaginary).

But really, I'm okay!

The weekly dilemma: what to eat...

So last week's menu went out the window almost as soon as I posted it...

I'm not sure what we ate. Wednesday we did go out with my mom. Last night we picked up sushi...the rest of the week? That's anybody's guess.

Maybe this week will be better...

Monday: Frittata

Tuesday: Broccoli Calzones with homemade tomato sauce

Wednesday: Slow cooker chicken (maybe?)

Thursday: Leftovers

Friday: Salmon and rice

Saturday: Dinner chez parents

Sunday: More dinner chez parents

For more ideas, visit I'm an Organizing Junkie.