Friday, November 26, 2010

What to do about the excess?

Alex and I have been having an intense discussion for a few years about Christmas and gifts. Not intense because we were in disagreement, but intense because we had identified what was bugging us but had no real solution...

But we keep coming back to it...

Christmas and the excess that goes along with it...and how do we make Christmas less about the excess and more about Christmas?

We see shows like Oprah and The Ellen Show and all the giveaways they have and it's crazy and excessive. People's reaction to stuff is unbelievable. It's just stuff...I also feel as more and more shows and companies and websites are able to give away more and more stuff that regular people have started to feel like their usual gifts to their friends and family have to be more. That unless they spend as much as Oprah did (or didn't since apparently most of her gifts were given to the show by the companies) the gift isn't worthy.

Eeep...and apparently it's a touchy subject. We weren't sure how to address it.

We finally decided that it was up to us to make the changes within our own little family and then maybe things would roll out from there. While exchanging gifts can be a lot of fun, we both feel like the most special part of Christmas is spending time with family and friends and participating in some family traditions. Oh, and eating.

So we started making little changes.

A few years ago we started giving Alex's parents and grandma frozen homemade meals for Christmas and what do you know, they love them! Soup and cornbread are two of the things his grandma most looks forward to receiving!

This year we're cutting back even further...I can't tell you everything right now because it's still a surprise for some people, but I think we'll likely cut our Christmas spending by 1/4-1/2 depending on how it all goes.

Some of the other things we've done in the past:
  • Having a smaller budget
  • Putting a lot of thought into gifts and getting something the recipient would really like
  • Making a donation to a charity (in the past we've given to the Food Bank, BC Cancer and other causes we support) instead of giving gifts to some of our friends (there are still a few we exchange with)
  • Giving gifts that are not things that take up space (things aren't bad if they are needed/wanted by the recipient). We don't have a lot of space and we know lots of our friends and family are in the same situation. We've received babysitting coupons, tickets to a hockey game with dinner and babysitting included, fun stuff like that...and we've given things like that too. Last year, TeamHardcore was a student, so we gave her coupons she could exchange for an evening of laundry or dinner at our house (she got two coupons a month - one of each)
  • When our niece was very small, we gave her a small gift (a book or something) and a cheque towards her RESP
  • Trying to make as many of our gifts as possible - food, knitted things, etc
  • Gift cards - I'm slowly being converted on this one...I used to be happy to receive them, but felt like I was copping out if I bought them for someone. (The odd thing was, I didn't feel at all like the person giving me the gift card had copped out!) The nice thing about a gift card is that you can get what you want/need, but this only works if the gift card is for somewhere you'd shop/like to try. I'm more appreciative of the restaurant gift cards now too...because it's rare for us to treat ourselves to dinner, so it's nice to receive them!
  • Secondhand/thrift store finds - there are some treasures out there for sure. And second hand books are awesome and usually way cheaper than new ones.
We've also decided not worry about what other people give us. If someone wants to give us a card, that's awesome. If someone else wants to spend a small fortune on us, well, it's up to them.

When I was growing up we got a few gifts from our parents - usually something to wear, something to read, and something to play with/do. And Santa came. And we had grandparents. And we each had two sisters (although we often paired up our tiny budgets and got one gift from two sisters) And we each drew one name of one cousin on each side of the family. And there were a few close family friends we exchanged gifts with. And that adds up to at least 11 gifts plus Santa. And that's lots. We've decided to do the same with J as my parents did. I think last year all she got from us was a wooden frog. And maybe a book. But she didn't need any clothing. She got enough from other people...so we didn't get her any.

Anyway...apparently I don't have a problem with excessive words...

What kinds of gifts do you like to give and receive this time of year? Any ideas for fun and creative consumable gifts (as in you eat them, use them up, or spend them)? What about special gifts that don't cost three months' rent?

2 comments:

  1. I have become really conscious of this because our budget has been tight for the last couple of years, so our gift giving has decreased. I really like to make gifts. Now since having children I have been blown away by the amount of stuff they get. It is all wonderful stuff but there is a lot. I am running out of room and I have a big house! This year I have really toned down on what I buy the girls because they will recieve lots from others and I can't compete and honestly in a month I don't think they will really know who gave what. I am also trying to get quality items because I want stuff to last. I am a little disgusted by the crap out there. And on top of it, the waste in the packaging is even more disgusting.

    I really like your ideas of frozen meals!

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  2. The frozen meals were a huge hit...Alex's grandma is in her early 90s and still lives alone and Alex's parents are in their 70s and because of some health issues, cooking every night is hard on them, so it was nice to give them something yummy like that...

    We try to buy gifts that are well made, even though they might be more expensive because they last longer...J has so many toys, it's unbelievable and we've recently gone through and donated a bunch. We're going to do it again before Christmas and we've been talking about it with her and she's starting to make a pile for the "other boys and girls"...although what's in and out of the pile changes almost daily! I think we finally got across that once we give these things away, they're not coming back, so that definitely changed her mind about a few things!

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