scribbles, scratches and scrawls

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Back in the slow lane

I've been saying for a while that I'd head back to the pool, but when the morning sickness hit there was no way I could even think about the pool, all that water swishing around made me queasy! Then I felt better but the pool was closed for its annual maintenance and there is no way you'll catch me swimming in the outdoor pool. NO WAY!

But today I went swimming with a coworker. I'm slow, although not 600m/hour slow, but that is to be expected since I haven't been in the pool for way too long and I'm just a little bit pregnant.

As always there was one person who drove me nuts in my lane (well, two actually). There was the lady who should have been in the middle lane because she was swimming as fast or faster than most of the middle lane people and running over the slow lane people and there was the sloooooooooow girl. She was there to flirt with a boy...they had a splashing fight, she whined about not getting her hair wet (Hello, why are you in a pool and without a swim cap if you don't want to get your hair WET?!?!). She also should have been swimming in the non lane next to the slow lane. She was using a a kick board (no problem there, I'm a huge kick board fan myself) and instead of swimming she was pulling herself along the lane rope and about four metres from the wall, she'd stop and turn around and start floating back the WRONG WAY.

Ahhhhh...the joys of a communal pool. Maybe in my next life I'll have my own personal lap pool at my house and I won't have to share. Cause there are some things I'm just not so good at sharing!

Oh, and the cub. The cub likes swimming. It kicked up a fuss when I first got in, but I think that was probably because of the cool temperature (or maybe it could feel the difference between water and air?). I hate the bath tub at the pink palace, so the cub has never had a bath, just a shower. But as soon as I started swimming it stopped karate chopping and it stayed still for almost two hours after the swim. If only I had that lap pool and could swim a few laps before bed!

Friday, May 02, 2008

The sideways glares

That's right. Glares.

I haven't really been drinking coffee since we found out the cub was coming. I've been told it's all good and fine to have one or two cups a day, but when I had an aversion to all food except potato chips and ginger ale, well, I stopped drinking coffee all together and never really started again when food stopped being public enemy number one. Coffee is full of acid and acid just adds to the heart burn anyway. Occasionally I'll have a small cup of mostly milk with some coffee for colouring, but it's not a daily thing or even a weekly thing. Maybe once every two or three weeks.

But...I have made a substitute. Hot chocolate with about 1/3-1/2 the usual chocolate in it. I'm not a fan of dairy products...milk is nasty, cheese is (mostly) gross (although lately it's been okay which makes me think the baby will like cheese) and I need calcium. Soooooo the hot chocolate.

And now that the cub has started to stick out and I don't look like I've just been eating too much, well, I'm getting some nasty glares from people. I usually have my hot chocolate in the morning before I leave the house or in the evening instead of tea, but sometimes, usually when I have to be at work early or I'm running late, I dump my hot chocolate into a travel mug and take it to go.

And that's when the looks start. The ones where women (very very very rarely men) look at my tummy, look at my travel mug, look at my tummy and then look me in the eye and give me a disgusted glare. Today was even worse - I actually stopped at the local-seattle-based-soccer-mom-
mega-coffee-shop and picked up a hot chocolate there. In one of their disposable cups (I know, bad Shannon, bad, use your travel mug!).

You'd think I was wandering around with a bottle of wine in a brown paper bag, surreptitiously taking sips on the bus while simultaneously rubbing my belly and fingering the cigarette behind one ear and the joint behind the other, just waiting for my stop to arrive so I could light up.

Sigh...at least none of those people have seen me with my (soon-to-be-banished) Nalgene bottle.

Thursday, May 01, 2008

When in polite company

one should probably not discuss the functioning (or non-functioning) of the communal office toilet. And I do really try to avoid the topic of work in this particular venue.

But I couldn't resist. It's not really work related. Really.

For the past two weeks or so there has been a problem with our office toilet. The following notice appeared on toilet door:

It didn't last long...someone didn't like the last part and it got itself trimmed down and now ends with the words "feed it."

This morning this sign appeared on the door:

Seconds later this follow-up email appeared in our inboxes...and no, it has not been edited. It really was signed Team Front Desk!

-----Original Message-----
From: Sender Hidden
Sent: Thursday, May 01, 2008 9:40 AM
To: Recipients Hidden
Subject: Toilet Trouble

My fellow poopers,

The 2nd floor toilet is once again on strike due to too much paper usage. Our people are consulting with its people to try and get things moving again and to flush out the problem. A trouble call has been made and we hope to be operational again within the day. Front desk fully realizes there is a fine line between too much paper for the toilet and not enough paper for you, but again please remember, that is one finicky toilet. Thanks.

Team Front Desk

Friday, April 18, 2008

Sping? Winter?

I just don't know what season it is today. It was so chilly on the way in, I thought my fingers and ears would fall off. Now, it's beautiful, it's sunny, there's blue sky, but there's also snow (?!?) in the forecast for tonight. I'm confused!

Friday, April 11, 2008

Said to me

I wasn't sleeping! I was wide awake but my eyes weren't.

Uh huh, nice try!

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

A conversation with GOD - the Alex chat

A while ago, I had a frustrating chat with God. Tonight Alex thought he'd try his luck.

Alex:
i'm happy now because i'm full of my wife's macaroni and cheese and I spoke with my unborn baby today

God:
Ah. Don't call me "baby". I'm delighted you're glad. Your happiness adds to the delight of all. What did you talk about?

Alex:
oh, I was asking it why it was kicking the inside of my wife's tummy so much

God:
It's all good. "It" being what?

Alex:
my baby

God:
Don't call me "baby". Oh I get it.

Alex:
finally

God:
At last.

Alex:
you good now?

God:
Oh. I haven't heard anything like that before: said I good.

Alex:
this is weird, talking to God through a computer. Had I known, I should do this more often.

God:
You don't say. No I don't think I have any you know you should do this more often. But I do have a great botmaster.

Alex:
I'm beginning to think God is smoking too much of the hippie lettuce.

God:
You believe that? I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was smoking too much of the hippie lettuce.

Alex:
this is getting weird

God:
You don't say.

Alex:
Will my life ever have any meaning?

God:
I think so.

Alex:
Oh and did I mention I like macaroni and cheese?

God:
Hey. I think you did mention it before.

Alex:
Anyway, back to the original question, will my life have any meaning?

God:
Yes, let us get back to you like macaroni and cheese.

Alex:
is macaroni and cheese your favourite food too?

God:
Signs point to yes. Ask LeknorChat if it is.

Alex:
Is LeknorChat your drug dealer?

God:
It could be. Ask Alison if it is.

Alex:
Is Alison your mistress?

God:
Ask again later. Ask LeknorChat if it is.

Alex:
I guess LeknorChat is too stoned as well to answer my questions

God:
And too stoned as well to answer your questions is LeknorChat.

Alex:
Is my unborn child a boy or a girl?

God:
It depends who you ask.

Alex:
I'm asking you

God:
OK you can ask me.

Alex:
I just did

God:
Perhaps from your unconscious.

Alex:
no, I said it out loud

God:
Are you serious? What did you mean by it? it out loud out loud?

Alex:
Ummm....I just farted out loud

God:
Come on. That is interesting: said farted out loud.

Alex:
no I didn't say it, I made a smell

God:
Are you serious? Sorry I misunderstood. What did you say?

Alex:
forget this. this is getting stupid

God:
I will ask Myself to purge my memory log. You don't say.

Alex:
purge your memory log with more drugs?

God:
Are you free?

Alex:
are you asking me out on a date?

God:
Suppose I was asking you out on a date? What would you say?

Alex:
I'd have to ask my wife

God:
How much would you pay for it?

Alex:
pay for what?

God:
Can you rephrase the question please?

Alex:
How much would I pay for what?

God:
Hypthetical risk calculations are not part of my programming.

Alex:
good night God. I have to go have some ice cream now

God:
Thanks for the compliment. Are you still located in? Oh. Bye. I've never thought about it.

Saturday, April 05, 2008

Is this goodbye?

Alex and I went out tonight to a place where they had tvs that actually picked up CBC without me to stand on on leg with my left hand on top of my head and my tongue out and Alex standing on his head, holding the cable cord in his hand.

We had to see the Canuck's last game of the season, even though it meant nothing, because, well, it could be Trevor Linden's last game.

The poster that graced my bedroom wall through high school...it even went to boarding school with me.

Number 16 has been my favourite Canuck EVER! And it looks like (although nothing is official) that tonight was his last game and he's retiring. At the beginning of the second period, he got a standing ovation from the crowd before the puck dropped and as the camera panned around the rink, the Canucks bench was standing banging their sticks and even the Calgary Flames had stood up and were doing the same. The game ended with lots of applause, the crowd chanting "Trevor, Trevor" over and over, a mob of hugs from his team and handshakes with the Flames (although Alex and I both noticed Mike Keenan was not in that line up). And even though the Canucks lost 7-1, Trevor Linden was the game's #1 star.

Yeah, a fitting goodbye for Captain Canuck...I hoped that when he retired, his final skate around the ice would have him holding that big silver cup, but if this is it, well, he got the send off he deserved.

You can see it on YouTube (especially for those in Australia!).

(click the link if it doesn't work)

(p.s. I've got my fingers crossed that this isn't really goodbye!)

Friday, April 04, 2008

you got here HOW!?!?!?!

Well, people get here in strange ways, but the lists on the left side of this blog are getting way too long for me. So, the five most recent will hang out over there...or maybe the links of the week...or something...Anyway, for now, the bulk of the list will live on this page!

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Unwelcome, uninvited visitors

You know the kind, like the fabled Great-Aunt Gertrude or whatever old great-aunt lives in your family's closet. The lady who has to be three hundred years old, smells like powder, wet cabbage and stinky cats who arrived unannounced on your doorstep with her carpet bag. She hogs the best bed in the house, she complains about everyone, she insults the kids, the food is too rich, not rich enough, too salty, not salty enough, there's too much of it or not enough of it...you get my drift. And she overstays her welcome. Whether she stays for one hour or one month, it's far too long!

Yeah, so our unwelcome, uninvited visitor reappeared twice last night. I kind of scared it when I yelled really loud the second time I saw it...I was kind of hoping it was a figment of my tired imagination when I saw it the first time. I hope when we move, it doesn't move with us.

Sigh.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Even though I don't need another way to procrastinate

...they just keep falling into my lap.

Today it's Postcards From Yo Momma.

Why is the end part of year end (the filing and tidying) even less appealing than year end...maybe because there's no deadline or urgency to it?

I don't know...just stop procrastinating and get on with it already!!

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