If you can't eat it, it ISN'T a blackberry

Those silly phone/email/web browser "devices" should be banned. No sane person should be allowed to own one. Who *REALLY* needs to be *THAT* connected. Probably not 98% of the people who are.

I hate the "device" that my boss has...it broke. So the Great Big Device Company we got it from sent us a new one, for free, even though the warranty expired because technically it broke before the warranty expired and they didn't fix it then, so they had to replace it now.

Yay.

That made me happy. I just asked and they said sure they'd do it for free. No begging or arguing or being grumpy or anything.

So they sent us a new one. Hiphiphooray! It arrived in time to be set up today and given back to its owner before he departs for far away places on Wednesday.

Except our IT guy got it out of the packaging and started working on it and what do you know, the new battery won't hold a charge. The old battery won't hold a charge. At least in the new "device" but in the old one, the batteries both work fine. Batteries were not the problem with the original "device."

So the Great Big Device Company is sending a replacement "device" for the replacement "device" except they can't tell me when it will arrive. The "device" owner really does need it for this trip - he is part of that 2% - but the company isn't sure it will be here on time. I sent some emails and talked to some people and the Great Big Device Company definitely keeps its employees in the dark. One of the many conversations I had went something like this:

ME: Is there anyone else I can talk to about this? I need to know when the "device" will be arriving.

TECHIE GUY: No. We don't send the "device" to you from this department. Someone in the Device Sending Department does that.

ME: Okay. Could I speak to someone in the Device Sending Department.

TECHIE GUY: No. We aren't connected to the Device Sending Department.

ME: Could you give me the name and number of someone in the Device Sending Department.

TECHIE GUY: No. They don't have those.

ME: They don't have names or numbers?

TECHIE GUY: No. They just have *ONE* email address.

ME: The people who work in the Device Sending Department don't have names or telephones?

TECHIE GUY: No. We just send an email to them and they send the "device" to you.

ME: So no one at Great Big Device Company can tell me when the "device" might arrive.

TECHIE GUY: No. We don't know that information. The Device Sending Department does all of that.

ME (starting to get fed up, exasperated and trying not to laugh at the poor souls in the Device Sending Department who don't have names or telephones and all share one email address): Could you find a way to put me in touch with the Device Sending Department so that I can get an idea of when to expect the "device" - it's rather urgent as we need it for Wednesday and today is Monday.

TECHIE GUY: It's 7:00 now.

ME: ? (silent question mark with rolled eyes that in my brain translates to: What are you talking about crazy techie who won't let me talk to anyone and if he thought that I didn't actually know better, would probably try to convince me he is the one and only person who works for the Great Big Device Company except some ghost or elf or invisible person who sends the "device" to the customer from the fabled and super secret Device Sending Department)

TECHIE GUY: You can have their email address. There is only one for the Device Sending Department. There is no other way to get in touch with them.

ME: Okay, thanks. What is the address?

TECHIE GUY: info@devicesendingdepartment.greatbigdevicecompany.com but it's 7:00.

OH MY. What a frustrating conversation and it meant I missed the gym because I was dealing with the stupid "device" that better arrive before the boss goes away. I wonder if anyone in the Device Sending Department actually reads the info email...I think I might cry (have I mentioned before that I'm pathetic?)

Like I said...if you can't eat it, it's just a pile of plastic, micro chips and wires. Oh, and a big, malfunctioning battery.