Dear NHL and Boston Bruins fans - you suck

So, normally I wouldn't wade into the mud on something like this but I'm annoyed. I'm beyond annoyed. I'm disgusted.

DISCLOSURE: In case you didn't know, I'm a Canucks fan, as is my two and a half year old.

My Vancouver Canucks are in the Stanley Cup Final. But I'm ready to stop watching. There has been so much nonsense in this series, it's unbelievable. I'm not going to defend the Canucks or the Canucks fans - diving, biting and beer and peanut throwing are hardly positive attributes. Aaron Rome's hit on Nathan Horton was horrible. I felt so sick after that happened. While I find it hard to believe there was malice in the hit, I do think it deserved a suspension.

Boston hasn't been much better - hacking, sucker punching, blatant (unpenalized) cross-checks by the goalie, racial slurs to fans, a Boston restaurant telling Canucks players there's no food for them.

The officials, well, I think they have been downright horrible. The inconsistency is unbelievable. The non-penalty calls (anyone remember a puck being DEFLECTED over the glass that was called a delay of game?), the non-calls, the "this cross-check doesn't count, but the next one might" calls. And it's not like they're necessarily favouring one team over the other - I've seen things go both ways.

But what really got me was the hit last night on Mason Raymond. I'm not even talking about the hit, I'm more disgusted by what happened immediately after the hit.

First of all, hockey is about rivalry as much as it is about the game. But, in my experience, no matter where two teams are playing, when someone gets hurt, typically, the arena goes silent. Then when the injured player gets up and shakes it off, gets up and is helped off the ice or in the most chilling cases, is wheeled off on a stretcher, the fans applaud politely and players on both teams bang their sticks on the boards or the ice. They do not chant "flopper." Not only that, you can still hear them chanting after he's been on the ice for over a minute. Instead of clapping, they start chanting "Let's Go Bruins" and booing.

Secondly, where was the spinal board? WHERE WAS IT? When a player hits the boards like that a spinal board should be MANDATORY. One of the first lessons you learn in first aid is to NEVER EVER EVER move someone suspected of having a head, neck or back injury. Unless of course they are potentially in more danger if you don't - electrocution, falling trees, you know, things that weren't an issue in the hockey arena. My back has been aching in sympathy all day. I don't care who it was on the ice - Bruin, Canuck, who cares - injuries need to be treated with care. I sure hope that moving Raymond didn't injure him more or prolong his recovery time.

Third, back to those Boston fans. They are trolling the message boards and commenting on new articles and telling the Canucks to suck it. The Vancouver Canucks got what was coming to them and they deserved it. No. That's wrong. No one deserves to be injured like that. Horton didn't deserve to be injured on the play with Rome. While some Canucks fans didn't agree with the suspension (either the length of or the suspension in general), I didn't see any of them saying, good, Horton and the Bruins deserved that.

Fourth, Mike Murphy, you are so inconsistent and make the NHL look like a goon show. When you commented on the Horton-Rome incident this is what you said (from the Globe and Mail):

This has nothing to do with Rule 48. This is just an interference penalty, an interference hit. If it was immediate after he released the puck, it would be a legal hit. We have them all the time.

AND

So the key components are: the late hit, which I had it close to a second late. We have our own formula at NHL Hockey Operations for determining late hits, and it was late. We saw the seriousness of the injury with Nathan on the ice last night.

That's basically what we deliberated on. We tried to compare it with some of the other ones in the past. But it stands alone. It's why we made the ruling.

So according to NHL rules it wasn't head shot and the suspension was determined by (1) a late hit and (2) the severity of the injury.

I'm not disputing the severity of the injury. A concussion is bad news all around. And the hit was late. Fine. Now you've set a precedence.

Let's now apply those same two rules to the Raymond-Boychuk incident. Which was (1) a late hit and (2) caused serious injury. I don't know when Horton will be back but four to six months is a long time and that sounds severe to me. Also, having experienced a fractured vertebra myself, I know it's a painful and difficult road to recovery.

But Mr. Murphy, instead this is what you had to say about that hit (also from the Globe and Mail): [It was an] awkward collision between two players battling for space/room. Come on Mr. Murphy, you suspended Rome for what you called a legal hit because it was late and there was serious injury. In the same vein then the Boychuk hit should warrant a suspension. I don't care how long, but suspend him.

I hate to jump on the conspiracy train, but some consistency would be nice. I won't even get into the Marchand pummeling of Sedin which resulted in a misconduct for Sedin and the resulting comment of "I felt like it" from Marchand (around 2:15). Or any of the other inconsistent circus side shows that have gone on (for both sides) in this series. There's all this talk about how the NHL wants to eliminate blindside hits and goonery, but it's just talk. This hit and non suspension prove that.

So NHL maybe over the summer break you can figure out a way to officiate the game in a fair manner. Because at this point, it looks like it might be more fair to let the teams police the ice themselves. And while you're at it, get a good, solid policy for using spinal board. Please.

History repeats itself...sort of...

DISCLAIMER: I'm FINE. That's all. Now you can keep reading.



You think I'd learn the first time.

But I didn't.

So the second time, you think I'd learn for sure.

Uh.

Nope.

Apparently not.

Almost twenty years ago I was getting ready to go out to some field hockey thing. But I never made it. Because I flew down the stairs and went to the hospital instead. With my parents and my sisters. They had to repeat the very painful x-rays because they didn't work the first time. My mom bought me a Coffee Crisp...strange things that you remember. So diagnosis: destroyed knee...almost. According to the doctors, based on the way I fell, I should have torn my patella and most of the ligaments around it. I strained everything and moved, but didn't dislocate, the fibula...I'm talented.

I earned myself a soft, very hot cast and two weeks on crutches in June when we had no classes, just exam prep time. I did well on my exams that year...

Just over four years ago I decided it would be fun to repeat that exercise on the stairs in the blue house. I didn't fare as well. A few hours, one landlady, five paramedics, two ambulances (including a transfer from one to the other in the middle of Broadway in the middle of rush hour) and I was at the hospital. It took eight hours to get a diagnosis. I had a nurse who thought I was there for the morphine and a neighbour with dementia who had a very lucid moment when she told the nurse "This is a hospital. You're supposed to help people here, not hurt them more" seconds after the nurse forced me to a seated position and I screamed loud enough to wake the dead.

I had a fractured vertebrae. It hurt. A lot. I was off work for three months. It was evil. You can read more about it here.

So last night, I thought I'd try again. At Alex's parents house (which, interestingly, has the same floor plan as the house where I first fell down the stairs). With J standing on the top step. I apparently yelled very loud. Alex had flashbacks of 2006. J started crying. Grandma and Papa came very, very quickly...

My back hurts where it hit the steps partway down. My left thumb and the outside edge of my right hand are bruised and sore. I ache. All over. But I'm fine. Alex gave me Tylenol before I went to bed and I'm sure that helped - at least I got a decent sleep. J keeps asking my why I fell down and why I yelled so loud and why she cried...even though I'm moving fairly well, she's not sure I'm okay. She just told me it would be "better for me" if I stayed home from the park today...

They say things happen in threes...that's three tumbles down the stairs for me, so I've decided either I'm cursed and I should stay away from stairs permanently or I've had my three tumbles down the stairs and we're good...

All about strolling...

When I had my back injury, I got to experience the joys of trying to navigate the world (at Christmastime!) in a wheelchair and I realized how horribly inconsiderate and self-absorbed people can be.

Now, with daily excursions with a stroller, I still can't get over how inconsiderate and self-absorbed people are. It's not as bad as with the wheelchair, but wow! people do strange things. It's rare to go out and about with out shaking my head at least once at someone. And you'd think I'd have been prepared for it, what with the wheelchair experience. Yeah, right!

For some reason people think there is no one else in the world and they can just wander around however they want. My favourites in the last week or so:

• The guy who sped up to the stop sign and blared his horn at me even though I was already about 3/4 of the way through the intersection before he came out of the alley and turned the corner to approach the intersection
• The guy who pulled into the crosswalk about three seconds before I got to the curb, again I was already *in* the intersection, and then told me to take my baby into to traffic to get up on the other side. I was a bit cranky that day so I just stood beside his door until he backed up. I mean really, he had the red light!
• The couple walking side-by-side down the sidewalk by our house who gave me a dirty look because they had to walk one in front of the other for, oh, five seconds
• The various people who are walking down the street minding their own business until they see the stroller. Then they veer off course and walk toward the stroller, looking for a direct hit or something
• The oh-so-helpful people at street corners who tell me Baby J is dressed too hot/too cold/is going to suffocate/should be home in bed not out on the street
• The same people who, after staring at Baby J in her pink "Princess" hat and pink blanket, ask me how old my little boy is

And I could go on and on but I think I'll stop now. This is nowhere near as inconsiderate and rude as people were when I was in the wheelchair, but some days I really feel like there's an entire three or four generations (older and younger than mine and mine too) that missed the part of growing up where moms and dads teach manner.

Sigh...

Snow + ice + Vancouver = CHAOS

It snowed yesterday. Lots, for Vancouver. Then it warmed up just a little so the snow started to melt. Then it froze.

Remember last spring? I was in a bus accident? Well, last night the bus I was taking home had an argument with the ice that led to an argument with a street post and a sign. Which led to me walking home. Granted it was only three short blocks, but man, it was super slippery and I feared for my back! Oh well, I made it. And this accident wasn't nearly as spectacular as the last one...barely even a bang!

Oh the joys of living in a city that can't cope with snow (too bad we get a few good snowstorms EVERY winter!)

Looking back

A year ago today was the most frightening day of my life. It was the day I fell down two steps in our basement, fractured a vertebra, and changed the lives of everyone around me.

The last week I have found that going near those basement stairs is scaring me again and I've been having nightmares about people falling down stairs (I hate that Disney commercial from last Christmas where the dad in the Goofy ears is so excited about a discount ad for Disneyland in the paper that he falls head over heels down the stairs. It makes me cringe and I hope they don't play it again this year!) I'm leery of the slippery sidewalks. I loved the snow on the weekend, but felt very uncomfortable walking on the slick ground. I hope that as more anniversaries pass, the fear will abate and eventually go away.

Now that the agony and discomfort are gone, that I can tie my own shoes, that our house is empty of people "babysitting" me, that the medical equipment has been cleaned and returned, looking back it doesn't seem so bad. I know I'm kidding myself, it wasn't fun for anyone - yeah, I was in pain, but my Mom and Alex had to do literally everything for me for the first few days I was home...and I really do mean everything.

Once I was helped into a standing position I could walk very slowly with the help of a walker, but I needed help doing everything else. I couldn't even eat my dinner without a pile of phone books so that I wouldn't have to lean too far forward or lift the fork too far to my mouth.

But good things came from this. I learned a lot about a lot of things. Alex and I have made some healthy lifestyle changes, including cutting back on all the things we did away from work and making time for our family and friends. My fall just emphasized to me how wonderful Alex and my family are and how great my friends are. We had help from all kinds of people and lots of visitors (very important medicine, visitors are!) We've figured out how to take life a little less seriously...I've slowed down the pace of life and I love it! I know what's important and I've learned to embrace it. And I've had to integrate some healthy exercise habits like daily stretching and walking and regular swimming into my life.

And this year, this year I'm going to enjoy Christmas...last year was probably the most memorable Christmas I had, my Mom and Dad had, Kelsey and Rebecca had, but I don't think you'd find any of us saying it was our FAVOURITE! This year, well, I'm going to enjoy Christmas and my week off!

I couldn't have made it to this point without a bunch of people - Alex, Mom and Dad, Kelsey, Rebecca, Brian and Tiki, K., Ann, Debra, Fiona, Stacey, Heather, Julia, Dr. K, and many, many friends and Guiding ladies...a couple physios, a couple doctors. I am so thankful that today I'm mobile and able to do pretty much everything I could do a year ago.

Thank you everyone who has been there in the last year...I couldn't have made it through the first three months without you and the last nine months had their ups and downs and when I needed a laugh, a talk, a walk, some encouragement, a whine, some wine, a hug, anything at all, well, it was there, waiting...Thank you thank you thank you...

I promise I'll try not to fall down the stairs again - I know Mom, I said that the last time too, but this time I'll really try!

Oh...and this is my plug...you can read it or ignore and it's just a plug...I'm not trying to tell you what to do with your hard earned money! The Red Cross was invaluable to us. They provided us with all of the medical equipment we needed, both in Kelowna and in Vancouver. So if you're planning on donating this holiday season (or ever for that matter) and you're not sure who you'd like to donate to, the Red Cross Equipment Loan Program provides medical equipment at no charge to people who have been injured, had a stroke, had surgery or otherwise need assistance and you never know when you or someone close to you might need their service.

Soldier-Zipper-Airplane

So, after forcing myself to go to the pool as often as possible over the last six or seven months, I now find myself dragging in the afternoon if I don't go for a swim. This is good news since I loathe swimming and spent the hours between waking in the morning and climbing out of the pool at the end of my swim psyching myself up for the day's laps.

Now instead of the running commentary being along the lines of:

"You need to go swimming because your back will hurt later. You need to go swimming because your back hurts now. You need to go swimming because it's good for you. You need to go swimming because you don't want to have to go back to physio. You need to go swimming because if you do have to go back to physio, you don't want to tell the physiotherapist that you've stopped swimming and that's why you're back. etc etc over and over again"

All I need to say to myself is: "You won't make it to 3:00 this afternoon if you don't go swimming and then you'll end up putting in two or three hours of work at home tonight because you'll be so slow."

And it works. I like the way I feel after a swim. I like that I sleep a million times better at night, even though I'm alone. I like that my back feels good. And I like that somehow I get all kinds of extra energy and get way more done in the afternoons when I swim!

But I still don't really like swimming. I'm getting much faster and my endurance is way better. I've come a long way since February and March when I first got in the pool. Okay, so I was still on a regular schedule of super strong painkillers, I was using a cane, and at that point I was seriously wondering if life was ever going to be "normal" again (what exactly is normal?!?!), but I was only doing a whopping 100 metres in five minutes.

I still need to talk myself through the workout. I got bored of the 1-2-3-4 rhythm. And I got bored of the nursery rhymes I was singing in my head. They both keep me going, but I needed something else.

And then today, today I remember the elementary backstroke from my backward swimming lesson days. So I swam soldier-zipper-airplane and even when I was swimming some other stroke, my brain was chanting soldier-zipper-airplane. It's a good rhythm.

soldier-zipper-airplane
soldier-zipper-airplane
soldier-zipper-airplane

Photo shoot

Heddy took some pictures for us. We didn't have engagement pictures taken because, oh, someone hurt her back, but Heddy took us to the park to play the other day.

Playing in the park is fun. I promise not to play on the monkey bars again, because I slipped off and was fine, but I think Alex and Heather thought they would be calling me an ambulance. Sorry guys.

These are just a few of the shots she took. Thanks Heddy!

I can't find my abs!

My abs have gone missing.

Well, not really, they're still there, but I can't find them. I'm back at physio to get my back stronger and it has become apparent that I can't find my abs. Sometimes I find them, usually by accident, sometimes accidentally on purpose, but never just because I want to find them. Grrr...

They actually did an ultrasound on my abs the other day so that I could see them at work, at what do you know, I engage every other muscle, including ones I don't want or need to engage, but I can't find my abs...

Help me find my abs!

Fading out of the background

That's right, out of the background, not into the background.

This morning I woke up and felt like my life was in focus again. No more living in a blur. I love it!!

It's strange to say, but for the past little while I've really felt detached from my own life. I guess it was mostly because I had to rely so entirely on other people to do pretty much everything and while that has been steadily decreasing since sometime in December, it has taken a while to feel like I'm in charge of my life again. Not that someone else was ever "in charge," but now when I decide I'd like a glass of water, I can get up and get a glass of water. It sounds so simple, but it's amazing what a difference that little bit of independence makes.

Going back to work, even just part time, was a big milestone. I like having a regular routine (if there's anything regular about my routine). I still get weird looks when I get up in the middle of a meeting and start pacing around the room, but I can deal with weird looks better than I can deal with pain! One day soon I hope to graduate from a few hours a day in the office and then the rest at home to full days at the office. I've tried that twice and both time the results were less than desirable...aches and exhaustion...I think I'll wait a bit before I try that again!

Now that the focus is back and the background is where it belongs, in the background, I'm ready to get on with stuff. Trips to plan, household items to buy (we're finally getting a microwave!!!!!), people to see...all good!

First day of school...

Well, that's sort of what it felt like. Today was the official beginning of life returning to normal Chez Shanalex. Life has been progressing to this point for some time now, what with the rejection of the walker and wheelchair, the discarding of the bath bench, and, on Saturday, the return of all equipment from the Red Cross Equipment Loan Program.

Today was the first day back at work. While it was a tad bit overwhelming and there is much to do, well, it wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. It almost felt like I hadn't really been gone...I mean, the calendar is stuck on November, so really, it must just be the first week of December, NOT twelve weeks later...

Seriously, can we go back to the first week of December? I like Christmas. I'd like to experience Christmas 2006 NOT in a drug induced stupor...

In any case, life is back to normal. The drugs are long gone which means I've quit scaring Alex by asking him innocent questions like:

• Why am I sleeping in the guest room?
• Why does my back/hip hurt?
• Did I hurt myself?
• What's going on?
• Who are you?
• What are you doing in my room?
• Where's Alex? I want Alex. I don't know you. I want Alex.
  
• Do I know you?
• Why does it hurt when I try to sit up?

I did ask him each and every one of these questions...true, the drug induced stupor was at its peak at that point, but I unintentionally scared the poor guy a whole lot...he must like me though - he's still living here and I still have his ring ;)

It's been twelve weeks since I took my little tumble and it's been an experience for sure. The way I see it, while it was a not fun accident, I learned a whole lot.

• I learned not to take things for granted.
• I learned exactly how far my patience can stretch, but also how far the patience of others will stretch for me.
• I learned that my body is both stronger and weaker than I thought it was.
• I learned that as much as I don't like swimming laps, sometimes it's actually an okay way to spend part of an afternoon.
• I learned that some people really lack manners when it comes to people in wheelchairs and with other obvious (or not so obvious) disabilities and ailments.
• I (re)learned how wonderful the people around me are. My family (the little one and the extended one), friends and the Guiding community were so generous with their time, food, conversation, assistance, and good wishes. Alex was super supportive and helpful and did all kinds of great things for me.
• I decided that I need to slow down and enjoy life more, even if that means saying no more often and changing my priorities.
• I learned that if you can laugh about it, even big, bad problems won't seem quite so horrible.
  
• I learned that even though the grocery store is only a block away, a block can be a long way, especially if you buy a jug of milk.
• I learned to ask for help more often, because even if it is hard to ask, usually people are more than happy to help out.

And that's just some of what I learned...

Today life took on a normal glow and I think I enjoyed it...I got up, showered, got dressed in work pants (NOT sweat pants...yay, I can tolerate a "normal" waistband for short periods of time now), went to work, did work stuff, went swimming, took the bus home, stretched and did back exercises for an eternity, did some more work...except for the rehab type stuff, life really is getting back to normal. And yes, it will be forever recorded that I insinuated that I actually enjoyed going to work...

ahh...the normal life...

Before I get too used to my normal world again, public thanks are also needed.

Big, big thank yous need to go to (sort of in order of how things happened):

• Alex, who called 911 and stayed with me until he dropped me off at work this morning, who got up at all hours of the night to help me use the bathroom or take more painkillers, who was there when I needed him (and when I thought I didn't need him, but really I did) to do everything and anything.
• Our landlady K. who sat with me while Alex talked to the dispatcher and brought the paramedics to the basement.
• The five paramedics, who managed to keep me calm even though I was in excruciating pain, move me without making it hurt too much, and somehow get me up the narrow stairs and around the tight little landing without too much jarring or bumping (although the morphine might have something to do with that).
• My aunt, who met us at the hospital, and stayed all night, sharing meal breaks with Alex and being my spokesperson when I was too tired and too drugged to fight for myself anymore.
• Al, the nurse who drew my blood without me feeling it and the next morning very gently removed the IV.
• The doctor who finally figured out what was wrong with me.
• The physiotherapist who showed me how to stand and walk and climb stairs.
• My aunt (the same one) who came back to the hospital after three hours sleep and my uncle who took the day off work so they could take me home and get us some groceries and pick up all the Red Cross equipment.
• My boss, coworkers, and HR representative who pitched in to look after my job for three months and made sure my time off and the transition back to work were as painless as possible.
• My Mom, who spent weeks with us, cooking, cleaning, comforting, grocery shopping, and making me walk.
• My Mom and Dad who got me home to k-town early for Christmas and kept me longer, got up with me in the middle of the night for more pain killers, made sure I got my afternoon naps, worried about me, and took very good care of me, even when I was being a pain-in-the-butt, grumpy patient.
• Kelsey who spent a week with us, making lots of food for the freezer, vacuuming and doing endless sinks of dishes.
• Rebecca who took me shopping in the wheelchair, made vroom vroom noises, and was a fairly tolerant babysitter.
• Heather and D, Fiona, Tony D, Stacey, Sunita, Mike, Kelly, and Jack, Amy and Ellery, Ann, Debra, Julia, Chandra, Michelle, Sarah Brown, Rita, Lizzie, Kristine, Heather, Megan and Hans, Theana, Paula, and the many other friends who stopped by to say hi, brought books and movies, called to see how I was doing, sent emails, flowers, cards, and care packages, and generally took good care of me.
• Andrea, who decided that it was time I had a family doctor is this city and made it her mission to find me one...a big thank you for that!
• My aunt, uncle, and cousins who babysat me one weekend when Alex went away and I still needed fairly constant care.
  
• Liz, the homecare physio, who helped me regain my balance and my confidence.
• Gail, the physio down the road, who got me into the pool and moving again.
• My "big" family, who called to see how I was, made sure my Christmas presents were things I could use, and made me laugh a lot (I needed that!).
• Alex's family who checked up on me regularly.
• Any number of people who stopped to hold doors, open doors, wait an eternity for me to cross the road, or help me out in some little way...it was a big deal for me!
  

And of course, I'm sure I'm missing someone...I apologize if you're reading and I've missed you - thank you too!

So...thank you everyone...I hope that's all about my back for a long, long time (it's not that interesting, really!).

okay, now I'm going off to my "normal" life...

(hope I didn't jinx it!)

Smells like chlorine

That is, I smell like chlorine.

I went to the pool for my 10 minutes of swimming and 20 minutes of hot tubbing this afternoon. In 10 minutes I managed to swim four whole lengths...sigh...I used to swim much faster; I used to get to swim in the moderate lane.

But my pathetic 600m/hour swimming rate was faster than at least one person in the slow lane. I actually passed her. So I wasn't the *slowest* person in the pool.

After 10 minutes in the pool I was pooped, so I hobbled off to the hot tub. I only managed 10 minutes...it's so warm in there. I think next time I might start with 10 minutes in the hot tub, then swim for 10 minutes, then have 10 more minutes in the hot tub.

After my little swim, I stopped by my office to say hello and catch a ride home with a colleague.

And now it's the weekend...not that days of the week mean anything to me anymore, but it's still the weekend which means Alex will be home for two days!

And now for the hardest part so far

For the last two-plus months, my Mom (or Kelsey or my Mom, Dad, Kelsey and Rebecca) has been around to help me and Alex with all the things that have come up because of my injury. For most of the last month, my Mom has been here during the week, usually going home on weekends when Alex doesn't have to work and can help me out. She has been a great help and I don't know how we would have coped without her!

This morning she packed up and went home...this time for good. Minutes before she left she was doing one final load of laundry, one final sinkful of dishes, and some scrubbing. Now I have to do the cooking on my own, a task that is still a bit more difficult that I'd like it to be because I am not quite at the point where I can get dishes in and out of the oven. Alex will be doing the grocery shopping until I can actually lift the bags...I am great at filling the cart up though!

It's scary to think I'm alone (if you're in the area, stop by for tea...I'll be here and I love having visitors) really for the first time since I fell...and somehow that's scarier to me that the initial injury was...

But the hardest part is going out and about on my own. Twice this week I've walked over to the physiotherapist on my own, but I haven't ventured far from my own neighbourhood. Tomorrow I will be braving the bus to go to the pool for some swimming on my own...all scary stuff...the other hard thing (apart from now being alone all day when I'm used to having people around all the time) is getting out for walks...enter the timer, the ever useful timer...when the timer rings, it means it's time to wander around the block...but as hard as all this is, it does mean that I'm getting better, and I'm so happy about that!

Today we bid two more pieces of equipment farewell...

Gone is the bath bench, providing I am able to take a shower unassisted tomorrow...which I sure hope I can do...I miss taking a shower (don't worry, I don't stink, that's what the silly bath bench is for!)

And the cane is being phased out. It is only to be used if absolutely necessary to avoid jostling in crowds, like on the bus.

And I get to go swimming. Okay, so it's only for ten minutes at a time right now, but it's a start. And the swimming pool has a hot tub and I'm supposed to use that for about twenty minutes each time I swim. And I can go to the gym, but only if I stick to the track and stick to walking. No machines, no weights. And I can lift the water jug and milk jug but not much else. Finally, I fell like we're making some progress. I know I was making progress before, but this feels more real somehow.

Soon, very soon, I hope I shall be also returning to my job and my office near the ocean and real life. My Mom has very kindly returned for four more days of taking care of me, vacuuming and other stuff, but after Friday, that's it. She's got to go back to her life. So, Alex and I will be devising a new schedule for food and walks and grocery shopping and cooking.

And I'm sure you loyal readers will be very glad when I STOP TALKING ABOUT MY BACK...unfortunately there's not much else in my life right now...

Although, Alex was away this weekend, so I had to go get "babysat" by my aunt and uncle. I had an adventure navigating public transit on my own and then we played a great card/board game called the Settlers of Catan (click on Catan on the left) that night. It's all about strategy and somehow, on my first attempt at the game, I managed to beat my uncle who had announced at dinner that he was going to kick everyone's butt! Definitely something to invest in when it's time to buy our next game!

Okay, so I guess I can still talk about something that's not my back!!!

On Broadway...

I got to see people today...yes, my Mom and Alex both count as people, very important people, but I got to visit with other people today. And I got to spend a lot of time on Broadway.

First I went to the doctor to see about my x-ray...Let's just say I'm extremely frustrated with doctors, radiologists and health care right now and leave it at that. I will likely be going back to the doctor tomorrow to see about my x-ray...

Then I got to go for lunch with a co-worker and she surprised me by bringing another colleague of ours with her...it was great to catch up with the ladies and get out and about.

Then we went to the post office...I like the post office, especially when it means I'm sending people stuff that will make them smile. I sent three parcels today, so hopefully some people will be smiling in a few days (side note: it cost the same amount to send a little parcel to Kelowna as it did to England...and they weighed the same amount....somehow I feel like there's something wrong with that!)

Then we watched the last of the movies and took it back to Rogers. On the way, we ran in to Fifer's brother Dunk-the-Hunk...random meetings with Dunk-the-Hunk seem to occur on Broadway...

Yay trying to get life back to normal...I think I might have overdone it slightly, so I'm taking my sore back to bed with a hot water bottle now...

As things return to normal...

I realize I'm not really sure what normal is...because this week normal feels like staying home all day and my Mom living with us...even though I know that my "normal" actually usually means going to work and my Mom living in k-town with my Dad. By turning my world upside down and knocking the normalcy and routine out of my life and Alex's life, I've somehow also managed to alter the normal routine of both my parents' lives, some of my coworkers' lives and a number of the lives of the people I work with in Guiding...crazy....

But things are getting back to normal slowly.

• I have given up the wheelchair and walker in favour of a cane
• The computer-doctor-genius came to my house and fixed the computer...this time it's working...and still working...fingers crossed...don't jinx it!
• I can do dishes
• My concentration and memory have returned enough that I can actually watch a television program and not wonder what the heck is going on after five minutes

Also back to normal:

The squirrels long ago decided that my planters were an ideal place to hide their supply of winter nuts. Often I'd see a squirrel hide a nut or whatever it was hiding and five minutes later a crow would come along and steal whatever had just been buried. The other day I caught this little guy eating an almond right outside the kitchen window...and boy had he made a mess of the planter.

So we've graduated from raccoons and other nasty rodents to the squirrel variety of rodents...seems us Mulvis are doomed to be harassed by squirrels. I have not yet resorted to trapping them and driving them to the real wilderness and releasing them like some people I am related to.

Not yet back to normal:

• someone still has to put things in and take things out of the oven for me
• my desk at work is still empty and likely collecting copious quantities of dust
• I have not used public transit in two months
• the selection of pants which I can wear still consists of only sweat pants, yoga pants and anything else without a "real" waist band
• there's still an assortment of medical equipment littering our house

If I'd made a list of the not normal things happening in our lives eight weeks ago, four weeks ago, or even two weeks ago it would be many times the length of that list...so that's cause for celebration!!!

I'd do a happy dance, but my body doesn't move that way quite yet...

yup...so this was a post about my computer finally working again...HA...that's why it's so long...not because I ramble.

That's all!

Seven weeks...ugh...

Tomorrow marks seven weeks since I thought I should demonstrate to the world how acrobatically inept I really am.

Seven weeks is a long time, but in seven weeks I have learned a whole lot and come to really appreciate a lot of things...

Number one on that list, in case I get distracted and forget to mention number one...my family and Alex. They have been über supportive, extremely helpful, patient and wonderful. And a close second at number two are my friends...also supportive, helpful, patient and wonderful!

Lots of people helpfully (or not) indicated to both me and to Alex that this would be a huge test and when it was all over, we'd have a better idea if we really wanted to spend our lives together. Keeping in mind that I fell only three days after Alex proposed, I think we both really thought that we knew that we wanted to be together and at first those comments were most unwelcome. As time progressed and as we both realized how much help I really did need, we both understood what those helpful (or not) people meant.

The day I came home from the hospital my aunt and uncle helped us out tremendously. I slept for hours that afternoon. The next day the real coping and healing and strain began. It took two hours to get me out of bed, to the bathroom and into something other than pjs. TWO HOURS.

And I couldn't do it alone.

I couldn't do anything alone. I needed help sitting and standing. I could barely move my arms. Once I was painfully helped into a standing position and securely gripping the walker, I could slowly, very slowly, shuffle places on my own, but once I got where I was going, I still needed help doing everything. I really mean everything...just about anything you can think of I needed help doing.

Injuries are very humbling and modesty is quickly thrown out the window...

But through it all, through the tears of pain and frustration, through the need for constant assistance, through spending literally 24 hours a day together for the first five days, I had Alex with me and he was incredibly patient. And we didn't even come close to killing each other...good signs...all good signs...

They say that patience is a virtue and in the last seven weeks we (Alex, my parents, my sisters and I) have all been trying to perfect the art of being patient...especially when we don't want to be patient anymore. I don't need help with everything anymore, in fact, the walker staged a revolt this week and tried to buck me and throw me face first on the ground, so I have graduated from it and am using only the cane, the arm of the nearest person or my own steam to get around. The physio did say that it was time to wean myself off the walker...I'm not one to be weaned without the help and protest of the inanimate object from which I'm being weaned. When it was time to give up my nightly bottle, I managed to pull the nipple through the ring and spill water all over myself and my bed. At the age of not quite two, I asked my Mom if the bottle was broken and of course she answered yes. When I wanted my bottle the next night, she reminded me it was broken and I said okay, fine, put me to bed (well, maybe not in those exact words), so this marks the second time in my life an inanimate object has helped eased my dependency on said object...

But back to patience...while I am now much, much more mobile, I'm still not quite there. I can get my feet into my shoes, but I can't tie them. I can take a shower by myself with my special shower seat, but I still need to be supervised. I can get in and out of the car, but I need someone to open the door if I'm outside. And even though it would be nice if I could do it myself, Alex and my Mom are still happy to help me...well, maybe not happy, but they do help me willingly. I still have to be patient because when I want my shoes on, my "helper" of the moment might be otherwise occupied, but my shoes will get tied up eventually...

I had a conversation today with a woman I know from Guiding, and R. said something to me that I think all those (un)helpful people were trying to tell me back when I first fell. We were waiting for Alex to come pick me up (because in recent weeks he has become my chauffeur as well) and she asked me if this was one of those things that happened for a reason or one of those unfortunate things that just happens...no reason at all. I said to her I think it happened for a reason, or if it was for no reason, we've been able to take a lot from it.

I've learned to stop and be thankful (and say thanks) for the important things in life and also for the little things, that we often overlook, but are something even more important than the important things. I appreciate my mobility and independence. I appreciate help...I can ask for help, even when it's hard...because asking for help for most things will never ever be as hard as some of the things I had to ask Alex and my Mom to do those first few days. It's wonderful to see the community that surrounds you and it's too bad most people don't notice it until something "bad" has happened. I've decided to slow down...to work less (meaning only 35 hours/week), spend more time with my friends and not try to cram my life full of STUFF...

Then R. and I were talking about those (un)helpful people telling me that Alex and I would figure out if we really did want to get married and she said she thought maybe "For better or for worse" might make more sense to us than to other young couples because we've experienced one of those worses already...that made some sense to me...and you know, we've survived it, whatever it was and we're still planning on getting married, so I guess it's meant to be!

Anyway...this was a long rambling ramble...I'm just glad that seven weeks have passed, so that must mean that I'm one week closer to being better!! YAHOOOOOOOOoooo...when I can move again, we're having a party, possibly the second to last one ever, at the blue house...

If you have the right diversions, it's all okay...

And by it, I mean staying home for weeks on end...

Today is the end of week number seven...so we're getting up there in weeks.

Granted, the first three weeks my brain was so pulverized by the painkillers that I didn't really know what was going on around me nor did I have an attention span longer than maybe five minutes and if I so much as inhaled slightly differently than normal my body was wracked by spasms, so it didn't matter much. I certainly couldn't say I was bored...I was too busy trying not to hurt myself.

But now that the pain is intermittent, not constant, that my body has likely expelled all residual bits of evil painkiller and allowed my brain to open up slightly, that the spasms only happen when I do something I shouldn't, well, now I'm starting to wonder how to spend an entire day at home.

But I have the right diversions...

• My Mom and sister hanging out with me, helping out with the necessities like cooking, vacuuming and laundry (oh and trying out recipes we've always meant to try)
• Alex wheeling me around the neighbourhood on weekends
• My Mom being able to take me outside for a walk now that the slippery, slushy, nastiness has gone away
• A number of friends who have popped by to say hello, come over for tea, "babysat" on days when my Mom, sister or Alex couldn't be here to help me out and called from far away places
• Books, Sudoku, more books, Oprah, Kakuro, the news, old photos that needed to find album homes, 24, more Sudoku, the newspaper, CSI, Hockey Night in Canada, more books, naps
• Checking out the details and features on a bunch of new cameras, cause I've decided it's time to get a new one!
• Sorting through all the junk in the house and being able to get rid of STUFF (cause I am the proud owner of lots of stuff)
• Baby toques...and knitting in general, but I've made a lot of baby toques...

Even so, I hope I will be able to rejoin the real world some day very soon. A coworker picked me up and took me to a *restaurant* for lunch today and it was SOOOOOOOO nice to be in the real world. My Mom took me for a walk this morning and I went about half a city block. When I can walk around the block (which really equals about 4 city blocks) without assistance and when I can sit longer than I can sit now, I will get to go back to work...until then, I just have to remember...BABY STEPS...lots of baby steps make one giant step!

Temporary resurrection

I've resurrected the computer...much to my shock and surprise. Who knows how long it will last...it keeps asking to be rebooted and I'm scared that if I reboot it, I'll lose it again...so I thought I'd send a few emails first and then reboot it and see what happens.

A walker is still keeping me company - progress was hindered by the snow and ice...YOU ARE NOT TO GO OUTSIDE UNTIL IT HAS MELTED...unless of course you're in the evil wheelchair...UGH...I hate the wheelchair...

Kelsey came and hung out last week and I've had friends drop by to visit and to "babysit" a few times...Kelsey had to work on Friday and she left on Sunday and my Mom comes tomorrow, so I had two evenings (tonight's the third) when I needed help while Alex was at work.

I am feeling better - it's slow going, but it's going!

That's all...time to reboot!

Keeping myself occupied

This is proving to be a bit of a challenge. One can only knit for soooo long before one's wrists and forearms hurt and when one reaches that point, one tries to mentally knit everything one sees.

My goodness, I hate it when people refer to themselves as "one."

Anyway...yesterday my favourite home care physio came to visit. She checked me out, gave me a whole bunch of new exercises and told me I'm off work at least until February 5. UGH...my goal so that I can return to work is not to be pain free, but to be able to walk around the block, unassisted. So I'm working really hard with the exercises, because right now I'm not even able to leave the house on my own.

Kelsey is looking after me this week and my Mom is coming back on Tuesday, but that means I have a five hour chunk of time on my own on Friday (and that's the test) and on Monday and Tuesday I'll be alone when Alex goes to work...so I might be looking for company...

If you have suggestions of things I could do to keep myself occupied, let me know! I have limited computer capabilities at the moment, I can't bend or reach very well and I am still using a walker...fun stuff...and you're all welcome to come visit. I like visitors!

shuffling into 2007

Even though I've been moving much slower in recent days, 2006 doesn't seem to have received the memo and the last two weeks have just flown past. A new year starts in just a few hours and as usual I've got mixed feelings about it.

This year has had it's fair share of challenges, but I think they were well balanced with some very exciting and very happy times. Alex's Mom is on the mend and my back isn't giving me quite as much grief and right now, those are two very important things in our lives.

I think 2007 will just have to be a good year. My tendencies to be a klutz have been satisfied for a while (a LONG LONG while I hope) and miraculously I'm still intact...my thumb has recovered from when I tried to chop it off and my back improves a little bit every day. I'm telling 2007 right now that this means that 2006 got to have the accidents, so 2007 WILL be accident free! Exciting things are planned for 2007 and while I'm sad to say goodbye to 2006, next year will also be a year of memory making!

Tonight we're celebrating quietly with some board games and family fun (okay, if you've met my family, you might not call it quiet)...I can't wait! The hype of New Years Eve doesn't get me excited, but I love the low key kinds of celebrations. And besides, my New Year starts in September...this New Year just means I need to try to remember to write 2007 on my cheques and we need to hang new calendars in the house!

I hope you all have wonderful New Years celebrations, celebrating the arrival of 2007 in *your* favourite way!

That's all until next year!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!